Maybe you’ve tried the breathing exercises and you’ve done the journaling. You’ve probably talked through the stressful stuff so many times that you can narrate it without feeling it anymore. And yet, something in your body hasn’t received the message.
It’s that tightness in the chest that won’t quite loosen. It’s the shoulders that creep back toward your ears before you’ve even finished a deep breath. It’s a low-level vigilance that stays “on,” even when there is no immediate crisis.
This is the most frustrating part of chronic stress: knowing the reasons for it doesn’t always make it go away. This isn’t a failure of willpower or insight. And it isn’t your fault it won’t settle. This reflects how the nervous system can respond under prolonged stress. Somatic-based therapies offer a different entry point that starts with the body.
At Lavender Counselling is a centre in Langley and Vancouver that is dedicated to somatic and experiential therapies. This is a core part of how we work. Integrating the body from the beginning is often more effective than trying to suppress or work around it.
Why “Thinking About It” Isn’t Always Enough
Most of us were taught to solve problems by thinking. Figure out the cause, understand the pattern, maybe even explore the pros and cons and then build a strategy. That works, but only to a point.
Because chronic stress doesn’t just live in your thoughts. It shows up in your posture, your gut, and the way you automatically brace before opening an email. Over time, your body begins to hold patterns of activation. These physical responses are the nervous system’s way of trying to protect you when it doesn’t feel safe. These patterns often developed for good reasons, but they can persist long after the original pressure or uncertainty has passed.
When your system is locked in this protective mode, it can start responding to present situations as if they carry the same level of threat as past experiences. You might be so accustomed to living in survival mode that you aren’t aware you are activated, just as you might not realize that your system has the capacity to feel safe.
Talking helps you make meaning and understand your history, but insight doesn’t always translate into a physical shift. You can know you are okay intellectually while your heart rate and muscle tension insist otherwise. That gap, between knowing you are okay and actually feeling safe, is where somatic processing does its best work.
What Chronic Stress Actually Feels Like
Chronic stress is rarely a cinematic crisis. More often, it’s waking up at 3:00 AM with a racing mind, even when there’s nothing you can solve in the dark. It’s snapping at someone you love and immediately feeling terrible, not because you’re unkind, but because your system is depleted. It can feel like a persistent flatness, or a simple phone notification triggering a jolt of dread.
Often, this stress is compounded by internal or external pressure to perform or prove our worth. We may begin to believe we are only “okay” if we are meeting every expectation. Over time, this creates a constant state of vigilance.
Living in Vancouver and the Lower Mainland adds another layer, high cost of living, long commutes, and a pace that makes it difficult to truly disconnect. In this context, chronic stress isn’t a personal failing. It’s a reasonable response to sustained pressure. But even a reasonable response takes a toll.
Working With the Nervous System
Nervous system regulation isn’t about forcing yourself to be calm. It’s about building a relationship with the system that governs your responses to stress.
Your nervous system is constantly asking: Am I safe? Do I need to act, or should I shut down? When you’re under chronic stress, you can become stuck in a mobilized state, not in crisis, but not at rest either.
In therapy, this can look like learning to pay attention to what your body is communicating.
Sometimes we avoid physical sensations because they feel uncomfortable or unfamiliar. Other times, the connection to the body has been muted for so long that it takes time to re-establish awareness.
As therapists, we walk alongside you and create space for these experiences to be noticed and understood. We help you treat physical sensations as meaningful information rather than something to ignore or override.
We support you in approaching difficult internal experiences in manageable ways, so you don’t become overwhelmed. And when things do feel like too much, we help you slow them down.
We also help you notice moments of ease, however small, and support your system in recognizing and returning to those states. Over time, we support you in learning how to listen to your body and respond to it in a way that feels more sustainable.
How This Differs From Standard Therapy
Standard talk therapy is often “top-down,” focusing on thoughts and whether they are accurate or helpful.
Somatic therapy takes a different approach. Rather than focusing primarily on changing your thoughts, we help you develop the capacity to stay present with your internal experience without becoming overwhelmed. We spend more time working with physical sensations and less time rushing to interpret or fix them.
If you’re used to therapy that centres on thinking, this approach may feel different at first. That’s okay. We move at a pace that feels safe for your system.
What to Expect
This work isn’t a quick fix. Often, the first shift is awareness. You might begin to notice tension as it happens, rather than hours later.
At first, this can feel like you’re noticing more without knowing what to do with it. That’s a normal part of the process.
Over time, your nervous system begins to learn something new, that it doesn’t have to stay in a constant state of activation. You begin to coexist with your internal experience rather than override it.
As this shifts, other areas of life often change as well. Sleep may improve. Relationships may feel less strained. You may find yourself more present and less reactive.
Who This Is For
This approach may be a good fit if:
*You understand your patterns, but still feel stuck
*You feel “on edge” or activated much of the time
*Stress shows up physically (tension, sleep disruption, fatigue)
*You are high-functioning but carrying ongoing pressure
*You’re looking for something beyond traditional talk therapy
Support at Lavender Counselling
At Lavender Counselling, we are a centre in Langley and Vancouver dedicated to somatic and experiential therapies. We work with individuals who are navigating chronic stress and looking for a more integrated, body-based approach.
Several of our clinicians have specialized training in somatic and experiential therapies:
- Chantel Van Vliet, MC, RCC
- Andrea Colliar, M.Ed., RCC, CCC
- Heidi Maxwell, MA, RCC
- Jane Whitlaw, M.Ed., RCC
- Jenn Moudahi, MA, RCC, CCC
- Jo Sawa, MC, RCC, RSW
Find a Therapist Who Works With Both Mind and Body
Looking for somatic therapy in Langley or Vancouver? Learn how body-based counselling can help reduce chronic stress and support nervous system regulation.
We offer a complimentary 20-minute consultation so you can get a sense of how we work and find a therapist who feels like the right fit.
Whether in person at our Langley or Vancouver offices, or online across BC and Alberta, we’re here to support you in moving toward a body you can live in with more ease.
Frequently Asked Questions
Yes. While we still talk, we also pay attention to physical sensations, posture, and breathing. The goal is not just to understand your stress, but to work with how it shows up in your body.
Not at all. Somatic therapy can support anyone experiencing chronic stress, especially when it shows up physically.
These approaches are informed by current and emerging research in the field on how the brain and body process stress, alongside established somatic and experiential therapy models.
It varies. Some people come in with something specific they want to work through. Others find it helpful to have ongoing support. There isn’t a set timeline, and it can shift depending on what you need at different points.
About the Author
Chantel Van Vliet, M.C., RCC: I am a counsellor who has come to understand how deeply chronic stress can impact many parts of a person’s life—the constant pressure, the low-level vigilance, and the emotional, physical, and mental toll it can take. Through both lived experience and professional training, my work with chronic stress is grounded in an emotion-focused, body-based (somatic) approach. I explore how the body holds and processes stress while supporting nervous system regulation to foster deeper, longer-lasting change and improved well-being. A key part of working with you is prioritizing the therapeutic relationship, recognizing the importance of feeling safe and comfortable, and meeting you where you are at.
